Family System

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." ~Robert Benchley




Ordinary People (1980). Extraordinary movie about a family coping with the worst of tragedies, losing a child. Conrad (perfectly played and worthy of the Oscar, Timothy Hutton) is the little brother who, after witnessing the death of his brother, tried to commit suicide. His mother Beth (a cold Mary Tyler Moore) is rejecting all emotional connection while trying to save face in front of all the country club friends and neighbors. Calvin (Donald Sutherland) is a patriarch torn between the two people he has left.

At first I was a little iffy about this one. For starters, the movie begins AFTER the death of Buck, and we only learn about his demise through the flashbacks of Conrad. A good rule for movies is flashbacks don't work. In this one though, It helped us reveal the guilt and resentment he was fostering towards his much cooler older brother. 

Why, even mother Beth liked Buck better. Mary Tyler Moore, you are great at being an emotionally-stunted, cold-hearted, money-grubbing bitch.

~"Of course I loved your brother more. He was cool."~

And poor Conrad. Unable to connect with any of his old pre-suicidal swim team friends, he quits the team (only to get ostracized more), he confides in an old hospital friend (only to have her kill herself), have to describe the pains of suicide on a date (only to have her break out in awkward laughter), and find out he hates his mother from his new shrink. Well, that's one positive. 

Robert Redford made a strong directorial debut with this intricate, heartfelt mosaic about the fragility and strength of the family unit. Honestly, I never would have watched this movie had it not been on this list, and for that, I am truly grateful.